Happiness as an Act of Defiance
“I can’t wait to close the door on 2022.”
“December vacation can’t come soon enough.”
“I haven’t felt motivated about my work in, like, months.”
You get the gist.
These are direct quotes I’ve heard recently from friends and colleagues in the industry who wave the white flag of “I give up!” with fairly equal parts frustration, exhaustion, sadness and apathy.
Have you heard them too? People around you, that is, who are burned out, overworked, and just plain tired.
Let me take a moment to look that in the eye, and invite you to, as well. Maybe looking it in the eye means looking in the mirror. Let’s name it and acknowledge it if we see it there, in ourselves and in others too.
I feel you, I can relate, and I’m sorry it’s happening.
Whether it’s on its way or has already arrived, name it. “Burn out.” Yep. Full stop.
Take a breath.
Okay, now, let’s move on to what we can do about it.
My teacher says that the most advanced yoga posture of all is to take the finger we’re pointing at others, and turn it back on ourselves. Yes, there are external circumstances influencing our lives; that is the finger pointing outward. The key, I think, is to take that finger and reverse it back toward our own hearts and our own bodies, and do what we can to respond to those circumstances in the best way possible.
Here are four things that are working for me right now.
Happiness as an Act of Defiance
Dare to be happy. I mean it. There are a mountain of reasons to not be happy today. But what if you were, anyway? What if you created an equally large mountain of reasons to BE happy today, despite it all? It doesn’t even have to be a mountain. I personally have a concise list of twelve things that make me happy, and if I do even three or four of them on any day, I’ve tipped the scale from “burned out” to “defiantly happy.”
You’ll have your own list of what makes you happy, but here are some ideas to get you started:
Say Thank You. Out loud, and to someone specific.
Feed people
Meditate
Make love
Send a moonshot
Free write
Read for pleasure
Practice French
Home project
It takes effort to be happy, not gonna lie. But deep down, our bodies remember how it feels. We can still get there. I promise.
Climb Back Out of the Rabbit Hole
The negative impact of social media on our mental health is obvious and well-documented. It is an endless hamster wheel, and it is exhausting. We will never get to the end of Instagram. So, do the obvious thing and stop putting yourself in a situation that is draining (i.e., causing burnout) rather than enriching (i.e., creating happiness). Climb back out of the rabbit hole. I’ll meet you there.
Monitor Your Language
Monitoring your language is a way to take your own psychological temperature. Over the course of a few hours or a day, carefully observe your language. Literally, the words that come out of your mouth – what you say to others, that is, and what you say to yourself – and also what we type on a keyboard or with our thumbs. You could also take 20 minutes or so and free write for three pages, then see what surfaced. Notice where the finger is pointing.
Get Very, Very Quiet
Last week, in a moment of overwhelm, I impulsively cleared every single thing off my desk. (Visual quiet.) I put the dogs in another room and closed the door. (Audio quiet.) I sat on a soft cushion (textural quiet) in my chair and closed my eyes (quieting the external stimulation) for twenty rounds of inhale/exhale. Then, opening my eyes, I could think again. The relief of that, and its defiance against the overwhelm, restored sanity. I could see the way forward, positively.
Which makes me happy.
Burn out is an undeniable reality, my friends. And we have the tools to manage it.
I hope these suggestions land with you, and that they help in some way.
Please let me know. I’d love to hear.
Namaste,
Cathy
