6 Counter-Intuitive Tips to Kick Off 2023
As we turn the page from 2022 to 2023, instead of focusing on resolutions, we have decided to each consider three substitutions that we will be taking into the New Year.
They’ll sound counter-intuitive, and the stance of that is a big part of the idea: breaking habits and routines involves a position we are not used to. The things we substitute out are run-of-the-mill, end-of-the-year clichés we’ve all heard before, such as listing goals, identifying passions and making promises. The things we can substitute in, because they’re counter-intuitive, do exactly the opposite, from breaking promises, to favoring logic over passion, to swapping out goals for maximizing potential instead.
Here's a little more on Cathy's three favorite substitutions as we head into 2023.
Substitute “Maximize My Potential” for “Reach this Goal”
Goals are valuable. Of course they are: we need to know where we’re headed. Meaningful goals are, however, always evolving according to progress made. So instead of thinking about a singular goal as a defined, specific end point, try thinking in terms of maximizing potential. Your own potential, that is, and also the potential of the improvement. The energy of that comes from purpose, and why you’re doing what you’re doing. Maximizing our own potential blows “a goal” out of the water.
Substitute “Logic” for “Passion”
Wine people talk (kind of endlessly) about passion. I get it. It keeps the wheels turning. It fuels the perception of a desirable lifestyle. It checks lots of vanity-metric boxes. Logic, on the other hand, seems decidedly un-sexy by comparison, at least in the short-term. Personally, I’m very okay with that. Passion is a flush of emotion; logic understands the emotion, and what to do with it. Passion lights the fire; logic keeps the fire burning. Passion blurs reason; logic clarifies and enables action.
Substitute “Promises to Break” for “Promises to Make”
Esther Perel deserves the credit for this one, and in true Ester Perel fashion, our kneejerk response to her question might well be a very uncomfortable one. But there, precisely, is where the growth lies. And the change. What promises have you made that, this year, might be time to break? What agreement? What relationship? What contract? Take some time to sit quietly with your response. Sit with the discomfort. Be patient. Then, eventually, see what light breaks through the crack.
Beck's substitutions also aim to create better boundaries, and more opportunities for fun.
Substitute “Clear Seeing” for “Wishful Thinking”
Wanting to see people in a certain positive light, rather than accepting them for the actions they take, can be a tough reality to reconcile. Being disappointed in that tough reality is what I call the "wet fish slap of truth." For 2023, I’m shifting my own perspective to accept people’s actions for the truth they are, rather than what I may want them to be. Shifting from illusion to reality also opens up the opportunity for more honest - and truthful - interactions, and setting clearer and stronger boundaries.
Substitute "Ask" for "Assume”
Ahhh assumptions... They can be based on the information at hand, or the patterns we recognize, or the projection of what "we" would do. However, making assumptions can lead to harmful outcomes, no matter our good intentions. So for 2023, dare to ask one more question (and maybe even another one) to clarify how to move forward. Questions such as "What haven't I asked?", or "What do you wish I knew?" may be helpful for fewer assumptions and better decision-making.
Substitute “Dance Part-AY” for "Structured Practice"
It's well known that mindful movement such as yoga asana, QiGong and stretching are helpful ways to keep the physical body well. But, with the constant pulse of the energy of modern life, sometimes you just want to shake it off, and play a little. Stanford lecturer and health psychologist Kelly McGonigal created an eight-minute "Joy Workout" to help get your body moving and lift your mood. (You can view the video free of paywall HERE.) 2023 may just be the year to switch that yoga class for a silent disco, or long walk for a boogie around the living room. See you on the dance floor!
We are curious what you will switch up as you head into 2023. What's no longer serving you, or has worn out its welcome? Please share your thoughts with us. We would love to hear!
As we close the book on another year, we also want to send enormous thanks and gratitude to all of YOU, our subscribers, cheerleaders, and supporters around the world. You are ALL the fuel that keeps our ABG engines running, and we wouldn’t substitute THAT for anything!
Wishing you the best for a safe, peaceful start to 2023.
Namaste,
Beck and Cathy
