What the Wisest Part of You Knows

“How would the wisest part of you respond?”
 
That’s a question I’ve heard meditation teacher Tara Brach ask repeatedly these past few weeks, when a student challenges her about a particularly difficult moment of reflection.
 
I’ve been trying it out for myself at various moments throughout the day. I’d pause to ask myself some version of the question, such as, what does the wisest part of me know right now? Or sometimes, how does the wisest part of me want to respond?
 
This week I’d like to share a few observations about the times that pausing to ask that question quietly to myself has proved especially helpful.
 
First let me share a few things that might happen for you as they did for me.
 
When we remember to pause and tune into our wisest selves, we might find that we close our eyes, watch our breath, and place a hand over our heart. That seems to be the body language or the “default gesture” that result naturally to tuning in mentally to the wisest part of ourselves. Give it a try.
 
We might start listening more to what the inside of us says, rather than what the “outside” of everyone else says.
 
We might notice that we’ve set ourselves up to be present, receptive, and tuned into a sincere intention, particularly if we ask the question in a quiet moment alone – off-camera, say, before the start of our next Zoom call.
 
Here are four opportunities to listen to what the wisest part of you already knows.

Before an emotional or difficult conversation
When we know that our next conversation deserves heightened awareness or sensitivity – whether it’s with your children, spouse, friend or co-worker – give yourself a moment to listen to your wisest self. Breathe, and see if you can exhale anxiety and inhale compassionate attention. For a little more background on the relationship between breath and our emotional states, have a look at this piece on the Science of Breathing.

Before a work meeting
At one point the idea of compassion and wisdom, mixed into our business environment, may have seemed like oil and vinegar. But not anymore. As we’ve seen over and over these past weeks and months, it’s well past time for a change in our work places in wine. The wisest part of you already knows that, so pause during the day to remind yourself of it.

Before a meal
This is often where gratitude surfaces, particularly when the meal is shared with family. The wisest part of you recognizes the fortunate circumstances of food on your table and maybe even wine in your glass. Pause, look around, and see how many more things you can name that you’re grateful for.

Before going to sleep
What does the wisest part of you know about what happened today? Asking that question before going to sleep gets to the layer underneath, rather than just hovering over a checklist review of the events that took place.
Pausing to listen to the wisest part of yourself doesn’t cost anything, but it’s a valuable practice that makes “deposits” to our health and well-being.
 
I hope it helps.
 
Namaste,
Cathy

What We're Reading:

There is no shortage of wine news, and here's what has piqued our interest this week.

Being Black in the White World of Wine, by Dorothy Gaiter for SevenFiftyDaily.com
Wine industry "leaders profess over and over that they want more diversity in their ranks. It’s an empty promise. Which is both maddening as well as foolish for an industry that needs to grow its consumer base."

Read This Before You Fly Anywhere, by Mariana Lenharo on Medium.com
The risks you need to weigh and the precautions you need to take.

Does the Wine Industry Have a Racism Problem?, Mike deSimone and Jeff Jenssen for Forbes.com  
"More and more black people are entering the world of wine, and it is up to white people in the wine sector to step up and overcome the implicit bias in our ranks."

Bon Appetit Editor-in-Chief Adam Rapoport Resigns After Backlash Over Treatment of People of Color, by Todd Spangler for Variety.com
“I am stepping down as editor in chief of Bon Appetit to reflect on the work I need to do as a human being and to allow Bon Appetit to get to a better place,” Rapoport wrote.

10 Organisations that Support Black Drinks Professionals, on Wine Enthusiast
These 10 organizations work from different angles to foster a better industry.

Meet the Community!

Our community is only as strong as the company we keep, and here we meet some of the folks who make our profession so dynamic.

Kate Webber, Wine Director and Co-Owner in the Webber Restaurant Group, Massachusetts (USA)

Years in the Industry:
Sixteen. My family owns a 600-acre farm in Massachusetts, and in 2004 my two brothers, my sister-in-law and I opened up our first restaurant, a 200-seat steakhouse. We were first-generation business owners. None of us had any experience, but we’d done feasibility studies and we’re business people. Since then we’ve opened four more restaurants, a catering company, a function facility and a farm with vegetables, sheep and pigs.

About a year and a half into owning the restaurant, we realized that one of us needed to focus on the wine and beverage side of the business. As soon as I started in the wine industry, I realized that it spoke to me. That’s what I focused all my time on: International Sommelier Guild, Court of Master Sommeliers, WSET Diploma, CSW and CSS. I was in the MW program when we were in the middle of a restaurant-opening phase. We opened a 300-seat steakhouse ten days before I sat the MW exam for the first time, and that’s when I realized I had to step out of the program.

My Biggest Challenge To Wellness:
Some people wake up and they have to have their morning coffee. I wake up and I have to take stock of myself and literally ask how I’m feeling today. It sounds corny, but every day I have to make sure I have a very secure sense of where my head is and how I’m feeling, mentally, emotionally and even physically.

It’s become cool to say we’re all okay with mental illness, but there’s still a lot of stigma around admitting it. That’s why this is the first time I’ve ever publicly said that I was diagnosed 14 years ago as bipolar.

When you’re diagnosed with mental illness, you manage it. You learn the things you need to do in order to stay balanced. It isn’t fair to say that the wine industry is harder than other industries, because we don’t know anyone else’s monsters. But having mental illness has some triggers. One of them is drinking, and another is not sleeping enough. In the restaurant industry, that’s your life.

So I wake up every day and ask myself how I am feeling. Then I know how to handle myself.

How I Keep It Together To Stay Well:
Four things are like the pillars of safety for me. They’re things that anyone can do to maintain balance but if I don’t do them, it will throw me over the edge.

I have to sleep. That’s a non-starter. It’s hard to decide that I’m not going out or stay up and watch a movie, but I have to sleep. If I have a day off, I have to nap if I haven’t slept for the last five days.

I have to exercise, because my body needs to keep doing something. That’s why I run. I did not want to go for a run this morning, for example, but I knew I had to.

I have to drink water, and I have to eat throughout the day.

I believe in meditation and walking outside, and I know that walking through a flower shop helps me. But doing those four things – sleep, exercise, water, food – every day is what’s changed my life.

I’m one of many people out there who are diagnosed as bipolar and lead a normal day-to-day life. As long as we balance ourselves, get help and take stock, we’re perfectly fine.

You can connect with Kate on Instagram at @katie_a_w.

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