Who To Trust
None of us need reminding, I don’t think, of the mess of things “out there” right now.
So this week, instead, I’d like to shift focus to “in here.”
That’s where I believe each of us, in our own individual way, can go for rest, refuge and renewal. “In here,” within ourselves.
If your kneejerk reaction to reading that sentence runs along the lines of, “Are you kidding? My nerves are frayed. I’m anxious all the time. I’m distracted and on edge. And you want me to magically find refuge inside myself, where all that chaos is happening?”x
Well. Yes, actually.
Stick with me for a moment, please. I get how foreign of a concept this idea sounds. We are so used to looking “out there” for an assessment of how things are going. The habits are so incredibly well ingrained in us to seek direction and validation from other people, other sources. We’re social beings, reflecting the emotional temperature of our communities.
I get all of that.
But do you know what’s usually missing from this way of doing things? What gets forgotten so much of the time?
We forget who to trust the most. Right now, when it seems like “out there” has never been such a mess, we forget about the resource that’s “in here.”
Let me put it this way. Who to trust, is YOU.
Yes, we have friends and partners we also trust and yes, we’ve spent a lifetime responding to the people around us. That’s all good. It’s just that most of us have never learned all the ways that we can rely on our own selves to assess, direct and validate how things are going.
Below you’ll find six ideas for getting better at trusting ourselves. Please note: These are quiet things. There is no fanfare. You do them by yourself. There will be nothing to post on social media. That is pretty much the point, I’d say.
Do it for you. Trust you. And wait till you discover the whole world that’s in there.
Find a mirror and sit or stand in front of it. Look at one of your eyes for a bit. You will want to look away. Don’t. After a while, look at your other eye. Again, don’t look away. And then look at both of your eyes. Meet yourself where you are. Take your own internal temperature.
Before you go to sleep, take ten slow, deep breaths. I know this sounds like a piece of cake but let me tell you, from experience, how easy it is to get off-track after four or five. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead, get curious. Just notice that it’s happened, and how interesting.
When you wake up (and before you reach for your phone), take ten slow, deep breaths again. This will give your body a chance to finish your sleep cycle. Notice the difference in your day when it starts this way.
At some point during the day, pause for a moment and try this visualization exercise. Imagine the flow of a river, and yourself riding along with that flow. You aren’t resisting the flow. You’re accepting it. Stick with this for a few moments, the flow and the accepting parts. You might imagine some white water rapids and some resistance, but eventually the flow of the river finds a place of deeper stillness. What are the rapids for you right now? And what is the stillness?
Read a book for thirty minutes every day. More, if you can. Don’t go to sleep before you’ve done that. Books are conversations you get to have with the author. Find someone who speaks to you.
At some point during the day, notice the fingers of your hand. Notice your pointer finger in particular, and consider the metaphor of how you point it at someone or something “out there.” Who are you pointing it to, right now? Who are you blaming or calling out or accusing? Who are you letting influence your state of mind? Notice that. And then imagine your pointer finger making a U-turn back toward yourself, “in here.” What role do you play in the situation? What, if anything, can you do about it?
These ideas sound really simple, don’t they? Give them a try, quietly, and savor the subtlety of them. Exercise these muscles because, as you do, you’re learning some ways to rely on yourself. To discover the resource of “in here.” And to trust you most of all.
I hope it helps.
Namaste,
Cathy
What We're Reading:
Here's what has piqued our interest this week in the world of wine and mindfulness.
Want to exercise but have chronic pain? A doctor can help. So can a dog – Simon Leo Brown for ABC Radio Australia
Finding a reason to exercise can be difficult, especially when faced with chronic pain, but Australian scientists offer some options..
A Psychiatrist’s Tips for Calming Your Pandemic Stress - Greater Good Science Center
Dr. James Gordon weighs in on the mental health challenges we face during the pandemic and what we can do to cope.
Seven Ways to Cope with Uncertainty – Christine Carter for Greater Good Science Center
What should we do when everything feels so out of control?
Black Yoga Collectives Aim to Make Space for Healing – The New York Times.com
Instructors and students say that diverse communities can benefit from classes focused on people of color.
The Future of Trade Tastings Remy Charest for SevenFiftyDaily.com
Wine fairs and portfolio tastings are canceled around the world. When will they return, how can they evolve, and—in the meantime—what can take their place?
Meet the Community!
Our community is only as strong as the company we keep, and here we meet some of the folks who make our profession so dynamic.
Curly Haslam-Coates
Wine Educator and Founder, Vintage Tasmania (Tasmania Australia)
Years In Industry:
I have been in the wine industry for over 25 years. The first fifteen were spent in the UK working bistros, high end cocktail bars, restaurants and wine merchants where I studied for my WSET Level 3 and Diploma. I was awarded the Vintners Bursary for my Level 3 results and the subsequent travel bursary allowed me to visit Tasmania. Two years after my visit I moved here to Launceston in the north west, and have worked across cellar doors, tourism, run the local farmers market and taught WSET qualifications throughout.
My Biggest Challenge To Wellness:
Chronic Fatigue which been a part of my life for the last sixteen years. I get very tired and a good night’s sleep doesn’t fix things. So if I have an incredibly busy week, I know that the next couple of weeks are going to be really challenging for me if I don’t manage my energy and get lots of down time. I get sick easily and often take longer to recover. A side benefit of COVID social distancing has been that I have never got this far through Winter without being ill.
Having to battle against the lack of diversity in the Australian wine industry is challenging and such a waste. A waste of the talented voices out there that don’t get heard, a waste in engaging a wider audience and selling more wine and a waste of the people who feel that there is nothing out there in the industry for them because they never see people who look like them succeeding.
How I Keep It Together To Stay Well:
I try and manage my chronic fatigue with a weekly schedule which helps me try and balance my workload so I don’t get too run down. I have been going to Bloom Barre classes since Chloe opened the business early 2019 and it is the most incredible space for an inclusive location to embrace ones strength and fitness. It helps keep me strong without anything too high intensity.
My brain switches to only being in the moment during the classes, I love seeing how my body has changed and become so much stronger and more flexible. The music is excellent and we get to choose tracks to motivate us, swear, stop when we need to and really make it somewhere that soothes the soul. I’ve really found a deep love for my body doing barre, something that has often been difficult as health issues have meant that my body frequently doesn’t work as it ought to, which is not uncommon when dealing with a chronic condition.
On the issue of diversity, luckily there are a few people who are ready to start making changes, but we are way behind the rest of the world. I have a few programs that I’ll be starting over the next few months that will hopefully start connecting all of the people who want a more diverse and thriving industry. WE can do diversity in grapes so we should be able to do diversity of people and roles as well.
You can connect with Curly on Instagram @VintageTasmania , Facebook @vintagetasmania , Twitter @VintageTasmania and LinkedIn Curly Haslam-Coates . Read more at www.VintageTasmania.com
The Measure:
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