Space As a Way To Kindness
Respondents in the recent ABG survey indicated that they are navigating ways to find space in their worlds again. Whether through the forced manner in which lives were upended, or through changes they have chosen to make, it is heartening to see our community both holding space for each other, and finding ways to step back and navigate in this new world.
So these last few weeks I’ve been thinking a great deal about the concept of space.
Not the intergalactic, outer world type of space, or swathes of open land, but the idea of seeking, creating and finding room in our daily lives to hold sacred space for ourselves and each other. To step back in these triggered times and allow ourselves and others to navigate the fragile emotional state we find ourselves in. Safely.
It can feel impossible at times, when our nerves are frayed, our wits are torn, and the angst, anxiety and fears feel are almost a physical sensation pressing against our skin from the inside. It’s a feeling that dares to tear at our edges, leaving no room for compassion, vulnerability or healing.
A lack of space in our interpersonal relationships can feel like a game of bumper cars, (or dodgem cars for us Aussies), where every barb, every question, every counter-argument triggers an auto-response to want to engage with more fervor and fight. Potentially, our emotional states escalate toward negativity or destruction.
When we lose the opportunity for space, we lose the ability to listen and be present. We run the risk of completely coming off the rails, triggered by what is before us.
But now more than ever, we must find ways to navigate our worlds for ourselves and each other, in order to be able to connect at a place of mindfulness, calm, kindness and humanity. We must find ways to create safe situations where honest, trusted and transparent conversations can start to happen. A place where actions can be positive, and compassion can seep back into the cracks to heal the hurt, anxiety and fears we may hold, or be afraid to express.
Stepping back to allow space also offers the opportunity to see our situations with a clear mind, and possibly observe situations for their truth. To step back from the triggers, allow space to creep in, and open the door to reflection, introspection and maybe a kinder way forward.
Even in the calamity of the last few months, it is important to step back, get quiet, listen to our own wisdom, find our way, and move forward.
To me, the first part of that process is recognizing that we all need a little room to move. To breathe. But I also recognize that it can also feel like there’s no time for space.
With relentless demands of caring for children, home schooling, working from home, or navigating an uncertain future, it can feel unbearable to see a way forward, let alone take a break to consider making room for what’s next.
Maybe it can be found in the smallest of ways. Maybe that extra moment to draw an extra deep breath, and slowly exhale when making another work-from-home lunch. Or those few seconds of silence to hold a loved one’s hand and remind them you are there in a time of loss. Or that moment of generosity as you show up to help a stranger in need.
We all know nothing is guaranteed right now, and we are all here, living day by day. Maybe with a little space in our lives we can make this journey a little easier.
I truly believe that through finding, offering, and holding space for ourselves and each other, that we can increase the levels of human kindness in the world. And the potential for more kindness gives me hope.
So consider this. How will you hold space today?
Namaste,
Beck
What We're Reading:
Here's what has piqued our interest this week in the world of wine and mindfulness.
What It’s Like to Be a Black Man Working in the Wine Industry – Vincent Moten for VinePair.com
Vincent Moten shares how it feels to be a Black man working in wine, an overwhelmingly white- and male-dominated industry.
Women Value Their Group Texts in Normal Times. During the Pandemic They've Become a Lifeline – TIME.com
There is something particular about right now that seems primed for the group text. It’s a group, first and foremost, when those feel mostly not allowed. Lynn Steger Strong delves into the subject of keeping people connected when in-person is not an option.
Why Can’t I Sleep? 4 Tips for Better Rest – Michelle Maldonado for Mindful.org
Getting back to sleep in the middle of the night is no small feat. In this short video, Michelle Maldonado offers four ways to help make going to bed—and staying asleep—easier.
5 Strategies to Support Your Employees Through a Crisis – Wei Zheng for HBR.org
From research conducted early in the days of COVID-19, Zheng identified patterns in leadership behavior that gave employees a sense of stability, empowerment, and inclusion.
This Week's Reminder:
Keep these short meditations and inspirations bookmarked for when you need them.
A Ten-Minute Full Body Scan Meditation Practice – Mindful.org
Explore this guided practice to calm your mind, notice sensations in the body, and bring awareness to the present moment.
Take Control – HumanTech.com
Discussion Guide for Families and Educators – HumanTech.com
The Social Dilemma is a Netflix documentary film that explains how social media harms our mental health, relationships, and democracy. here are practical ways that you can manage the type and frequency of digital media content to help support mental health.
Meet the Community!
Our community is only as strong as the company we keep, and here we meet some of the folks who make our profession so dynamic.
Eva Rowe, Vice President, Messe Düsseldorf North America, Chicago (USA)
Years In the Industry:
Since the third ProWein took place in Düsseldorf, Germany, 24 years ago, I have had the pleasure of working on this wonderful tradeshow. I saw it grow as more and more wineries, winemakers and buyers joined us there. I made many friends along the way, for whom I am most grateful. Working in tradeshows as well as in any other entertainment industry is not the easiest right now, but I never regretted having left the advertising and publishing industries where I used to work before. People bond over their love for wine, and while I will never become a wine expert, I can only state my own experience: enjoying a beverage TOGETHER in person is a big part of the happiness this industry brings with it.
My Biggest Challenge To Wellness:
Until this spring, my wellness was threatened by too many airplane rides and being constantly on the move. These days it is not letting my mind get overwhelmed with all the challenges that surround us right now. The need for empathy, creativity, and for keeping everyone physically and mentally safe is so vast right now, that it is sometimes hard to know where to start without frustration or fear taking over.
There’s a risk of nothing getting done as a result. But that is not really an option, right? I try to take life one minute at the time now, since one day at a time feels too long. And I force myself to focus on the opportunities that the changing circumstances bring with it, while suppressing for now the anxiety over the upcoming election and long-term future of our planet.
How I Keep It Together To Stay Well:
Cycling along Lake Michigan in my chosen home of Chicago, stopping at the Planetarium, looking at the skyline, taking in the beauty of it… All together with a deep breath.
Another thing that really clears my head these days is listening to how others cope, fight and keep on going. I have reached out actively to people around the world with whom I had not been in touch for many years, seeking one-on-one conversations, beyond a quick hello on some texting app. I have learned that almost all of us have unique experiences and emotions about COVID and the new normal that comes with it. From mask-denying to “I don’t feel comfortable leaving my house at all,” from clear financial highs of someone who sells home renovation tools to a small trade show organizer who has to close shop and is financially ruined.
There has never been a more important time to try to walk in someone else’s shoes. To me, seeing the world from a different angle, taking off my own life goggles, keeps me grounded. Laughing with my family, my friends and colleagues, and playing with my cats does the rest to make me my positive self.
You can connect with Eva on LinkedIn
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