Resilience, Grief and Being Present to Change
This is one of the hardest posts I’ve ever written for A Balanced Glass.
And I’m not even there, in Napa Valley, where wine and hospitality businesses burn to the ground as I type and some twelve thousand Napa County residents are currently under some form of evacuation order.
For local residents, it is not an unfamiliar mix of front-line emotions. Grief, that is. Adrenaline. Fear. Vulnerability. Heartbreak.
The reverberation of that mix of emotions is felt across the country and around the world, and certainly throughout this ABG community.
You feel it. I feel it. As ABG, we feel it, these direct experiences of the body and the very intense sensations that we’re feeling physically.
Before I go any further, I’d like very much to recognize that. Full stop.
Relatedly, I’d also like to acknowledge that none of us are alone in this grief and vulnerability. Certainly, some of us in Napa, Sonoma, Oregon and Washington wine country have far more direct experience than others of the ferocious brunt of wildfires, more I would guess than they would wish on anyone.
It is their resilience, of having experienced it before and still being here to experience it again, that personally knocks me out.
I’m not alone in that, either, in recognizing the resilience and the ability to be present with change and see this through – two of the most difficult of human skills that we are witnessing our friends, colleagues and loved ones demonstrate these past few weeks.
There is no doubting the resilience. The second of those skills, to be present with change, is perhaps less discussed and also where I’d like to hover for a moment this week.
Being present with change means that you’re holding some far inner part of yourself still while the world shifts around you. External things shift, and an internal part of you holds still moment by moment by moment.
That is quite a feat right now, to remember that we even have a still, inner part of ourselves. But we do. Within those still moments are opportunities, and we have the power to choose what to do with them. To keep remaining still, for example, moment by moment. To grieve in stillness. To be vulnerable in stillness. To rest inside the change.
That’s my wish for you this week, to remember and even seek the still, inner part of ourselves.
I’m looking for it too, inside of me. I hope to meet you there.
Please (please) take good care.
Namaste,
Cathy
What We're Reading:
Here's what has piqued our interest this week in the world of wine and mindfulness.
Fires Leave Napa Harvest on a Knife Edge -- by Kathleen Willcox for Wine-Searcher.com
Producers are scrambling to save the vintage as fires once more devastate wine country.
Here's How to Help People Impacted by the Glass Fires -- by Kaylee Tornay for The Press Democrat
Here are some ways to help those displaced by the latest big blaze: where to give, and where to serve.
Wildfires Destroyed the Food Truck They Used to Feed the Hungry. The Community is Helping Bring it Back -- Gabrielle Bienasz for Inc.com
The founders of Daddy Ramen in Phoenix, Oregon donated meals on a regular basis. Now without their food truck, they're getting a much-needed assist from their supporters.
2020 Wine Country Fire Relief Fund -- GoFundMe Campaign
To benefit families and individuals suffering losses not covered by insurance. Organized by Kimberly Charles, Tia Butts, Katherine Jarvis, Katie Calhoun and Beck Hopkins.
This Week's Reminder:
Keep these short meditations and inspirations bookmarked for when you need them.
Suffering is Not the End of the Story -- A meditation talk (and video) by Jack Kornfield
We can get lost in our suffering. But we can also be witness to bravery and the possibility of life. Mindfulness can help us live wisely amidst difficulties.
Courage in Our Difficult Time -- A meditation talk (and video) by Jack Kornfield
The value of our harshest difficulties is how they intensify our courage and bring alive our deepest inner purpose. In willingly facing the unknown, we offer trust in a greater purpose. And then we must venture wherever the road leads us.
Meet the Community!
Our community is only as strong as the company we keep, and here we meet some of the folks who make our profession so dynamic.
Jenni Wagoner, Wine Director for Sepia and PROXI, Chicago (USA)
Years In Industry:
If you count my first job as a roller-skating car hop at Blue Top Drive-In in Highland, Indiana, I have been in the industry upwards of twenty years. It wasn’t until I moved to NYC after college that hospitality became the focus of my career. While working as a server at Blue Water Grill in Union Square I fell in love with wine and the stories and people behind them. I wanted to know more and I wanted to share this newfound excitement with just about everyone.
I took classes at the International Wine Center and worked part-time at a wine shop while mostly unsuccessfully working as a part-time musician. I took a chance and moved to Miami for ‘a few months’, which ended up turning into eleven years of amazing challenges and successes running wine programs for Zuma, Mina Group and the Fontainebleau Resort.
A serendipitous opportunity to lead the programs at Sepia and PROXI brought me back home in 2017. I feel whole being around my family once again as well as being part of a strong community of beverage professionals.
My Biggest Challenge To Wellness:
My desire to do a million things at once! As a hospitality professional (and a Midwesterner through and through) I often find that my need to create positivity and happiness in the lives of others takes precedence over creating those same elements in my own life.
It has only been in the last few years that I am able to find balance in taking care of others and taking care of myself. I am very thankful for the friends and family that surround me and allow me to do so. It has made me a more valuable educator and professional to understand the importance of finding happy mediums and encouraging myself and others to take a step back and breathe.
How I Keep It Together To Stay Well:
Saying thank you and appreciating the opportunities, successes and failures that ultimately create the bigger picture. Realizing that the smallest gestures of kindness may be the most important, especially when in a role where people come into and out of your life over the course of a meal. Being positive and focusing on the steps we can take to make our world better instead of dwelling on the negative.
Being there for other women in the hospitality community and lifting them up and encouraging their successes. We opened up the patios and dining rooms for guests in early July (at both Sepia and PROXI) and it has been encouraging to see the familiar faces that we missed while closed for four months. The outpouring of support from the community keeps me hopeful that our ability to adapt as an industry will get us through these challenges. The teams at both venues have become closer as we reimagine what hospitality means during a pandemic and how we can create memorable experiences in the midst of adversity.
On a practical note: spending time with family, cuddling with my kitty (Juniper) and my pup (June Carter), making candles and talking to my plants are all a necessary part of my personal wellness plan.
You can connect with Jenni on Facebook, Instagram @Scarlettartois and Twitter @Scarlettartois
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