A Love Letter to our Hospitality Friends

It’s the final stretch of the holidays, and for those of you scanning this between staff room breaks, bleary-eyed morning (or nighttime) train commutes, or even two-minute restroom breaks, we see you!

As hospitality professionals, we launch into roles that carry the expectation of service, inclusion, and meeting guests where they are. There are extra hours, physical expectations, and an absorption of a larger volume of anxious interaction; some even ask us to turn it radical for this time of year. All without having an opportunity to see family and loved ones or to simply rest. It’s exhausting.

As a former hospitality professional, the unseen toll of working through the holidays still hits home years later. An early part of my 14 years on restaurant floors was waiting tables at a tea shop in New York City through college. The only day we closed was December 25th, and weeks of impatient, harried, bag-carrying Fifth Avenue customers left our kitschy and whimsical tea house—and us—a bit worse for wear.
With family in nearby New Jersey, my colleagues took time off to travel. But, as I closed up shop late on Christmas Eve and dragged my frayed self and overnight bag to the train station for 24 hours of reprieve, I realized that as a hospitality professional, “holidays” would not resemble a restful period.

So, while many people may use this time of year to put their feet up, sleep in, or take much-needed time, we spoke with the ABG community members and hospitality professionals who are working through this season to learn how they turn that slither of remaining energy into care for themselves, to keep their welcoming spirit of hospitality alive.

Schedule Yourself Like Your Work
Scott Ota, General Manager of Supper at Hotel Emma in San Antonio, TX, makes sure to schedule time for himself as one of his three pillars for holiday season self-care.
“Only say 'yes' to things if they will not encroach on what you need to be your best self; otherwise, you'll come from a place of resentment. Do your best to build your schedule around this. Schedule 'unavailable hours' if need be and do your best to prioritize what's most important. If you know work will be tough this week, communicate to friends and family that you need the space to get things done. If work becomes too much and encroaches past the boundary you have set, have the courage to ask for help and lean on the support of others to get you through.”

To take care of your boundaries in time and communication, Scott also details how important it is to tap into yourself to know what it is you may need: “In knowing yourself, you need to understand what you personally need to be in a good place.
For me, each day requires three things: good calories, caffeine, and something for my mind or body. I can't listen to anyone when I'm hangry, and my body needs the kick of caffeine to get going. When it comes to mind or body, it's something that gives me fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment before I even think about work.”

Taking A Deep Breath
For Amy Currens, General Manager of The Morris restaurant in San Francisco, focusing on breathing is a saving grace. “During the holiday hustle in wine and hospitality, my sanity comes from taking a breather—literally—with mindful breathwork, short meditations, and restorative walks between long shifts so I don't lose my sh&%.” Which also helps with the patience required.
“Patience is a practice we repeat with ourselves and others as we nurture joy and connection—remembering one another while savoring the season with guests. Sharing tipples and nibbles becomes more than a festive moment; it forges bonds that linger well beyond the holidays.”

Holistic Saviors
Turning up on self-preservation, Tonya Pitts, Sommelier & Wine Director at One Market Restaurant, turns to holistic means for her sanity. “Self-care has been key to my work-life balance this year. I have incorporated more sound baths, meditation, and sound frequency practices into my daily routine -; tools which I have found to be helpful. Frankly, I rely heavily on the practices I leaned into during the pandemic. I am practicing moderation in my own life with alcohol intake, especially given the time on the floor and reviewing wine. I want to keep my palate as fresh as possible.”

Give Yourself Grace
Stephanie Wills, Sommelier and Manager of Sippin’ Silo in Southaven, Mississippi, recognizes that holiday seasons are difficult, trying to find an equilibrium between the busiest part of your professional year, coupled with professional and personal demands. She’s learned to give herself grace during the chaos. “It’s okay to have to miss an event, show up late, not make 12 dishes for a holiday meal, or for something to be less than imagined.”
Stephanie also knows it may take some practical measures and a stalwart attitude to ensure there’s still time for just you. “I make myself schedule time for me in all of the chaos, and I don’t let anything override that. Rest is productive. It isn’t being lazy — it is a mental reset in a world of burnout.”

Relying on Your People
For Scott Ota, he finds the best way to put his practice into action is to rely on a support network, or as Scott puts it lovingly, your scaffolding. “This is a structure of support that keeps you upright when needed. A good scaffolding can look like a close network of family and friends to help you when times get tough - an emotional boost, a pep talk, etc.
Good scaffolding can be your trusted coworkers who you can lean on when the going gets tough - a solution-oriented conversation, offers to take things off your plate, etc.
Good scaffolding can be a significant other who knows you best when you struggle to ask for help. In busy times or slower times, it always pays to have great scaffolding.”

We hope that everyone, on the floor or otherwise, can find support in their scaffolding, take an extra long breath, and take some time to care for their needs in a busy season. Cheers, and may everyone find time for a deep breath, some “me” time, and a glass of Champagne (or non-alcoholic sparkling) to ring in 2025.