Are they Holidays or Hell-idays?

Guest Contributor: Jennifer Thomas

I kicked off November with my final business trip of the year to Kansas City. Walking into the Marriott, I was met with a fully decked-out Christmas scene: Michael Bublé crooned in the lobby, and the holiday cocktail menu was front and center at the bar. Ready or not, the holidays had arrived.

For many, the holidays bring a mix of emotions—joy, laughter, and gratitude on one side, anger, sadness, and guilt on the other. In a conversation with my friend Cathy before Thanksgiving, I offhandedly asked, “Are these holidays or hellidays for you?” It made me pause to reflect on where I stood. I love the holidays—December onward. I adore the lights, giving gifts, and lining holiday cards along my mantle. But Thanksgiving is different. Growing up in a divorced home, it felt like the ultimate tug-of-war, leaving scars that run deep. As an adult, I can navigate it better, but I still wrestle with the guilt of “choosing” one parent over the other.

The American Psychological Association reports that 41% of people experience increased stress during the holidays. Whether your days feel like holidays or hellidays (or both), here are five ways I’m learning to navigate this season:

1.  Slow down and stay present. Treat the holidays like opening a bottle of Bordeaux. Don’t rush. Admire the moment, swirl it around, and savor the richness it offers. 

2.  Limit conversations with the Scrooge. Not everyone loves the holidays, and that’s okay. But protecting your own joy is just as important. 

3.  Protect your health. The indulgence of the season can be overwhelming. When I attend gatherings, I look for non-alcoholic options or mocktails to strike a balance.

4.  Set boundaries. If challenging dynamics are inevitable, create an exit strategy in advance. Maintaining your energy and well-being is key. 

5.  Give back. Making a donation helps shift perspective. Someone out there has it harder, and while that doesn’t erase your struggles, it reminds you of the bigger picture.

Ultimately, navigating the holidays is about finding what works for you. It’s a process, but there’s comfort in knowing you’ll get another chance next year—only 365 days away.

Cheers,

Jennifer

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About Jennifer:

Jennifer Thomas is a wine professional, organizational leadership expert, and founder of Rooted Connections, focused on supporting women on their journeys through leadership, connection, and growth