A New Perspective on FOMO: From Missing “Out” to Turning “In”
This past week I spoke with a younger friend of mine in the wine industry. She is struggling with some things at work that may sound familiar to you, and I’d like to hover over them for a bit this week especially as we segway to the last few inventory-taking weeks of the year.
My friend can’t shake a sense that she isn’t doing enough at work.
She’s anxious that her skills at work are underutilized.
And she’s nagged by a persistent, restless instinct that’s telling her that there’s more out there.
This sounds a little like FOMO, fear of missing out. But I think it’s actually something more than that, something that’s both more interesting and more nuanced.
It isn’t quite that she fears missing out. It’s more that she fears missing out on getting the most out of her commitment to this industry.
It’s more that she fears missing out on what she – as a young person with ideas and enthusiasm – wants to do, to take action on what she thinks is possible in terms of changing the more staid, traditional and always-been-this-way aspects of our industry.
I can relate to my friend’s sentiments, not because I’m such a young person new to the industry anymore (ha!), but because I too am nagged by a persistent, restless instinct that tells me that there’s more out there.
The truth is that there IS more out there.
And here’s the more disconcerting part: the more that’s out there may very well be outside the wine industry.
Consider that for a moment. It’s entirely possible that there are other industries that are more suited to our personalities, particularly if those personalities are energetic and/or youthful and/or unconventional.
Yet here we are, choosing to work in wine. That’s something else worth pointing out: the vast majority of us don’t have to work in wine. We choose to work in wine.
There’s a world of difference between those two verbs – have to and choose to – and it’s also I think where this discussion takes a turn.
That persistent, restless instinct that tells us that there’s more out there is probably never going to go away entirely, whether we choose to stay in the wine industry or not. There’s a way, however, that I find keeps it at bay and it has to do with “out there.”
What if, rather than orienting our perspective out there, we turned it around to “in here”?
Maybe what’s important about the enough-ness, anxiety and restlessness doesn’t matter out there. Maybe it matters in here.
A teacher of mine has a beautiful way of saying this, which she describes as the most difficult mudra (or hand gesture) in all of yoga. Instead of pointing a finger and saying “It’s about you” (out there) or “It’s your fault,” try instead to point the finger inward and say, “What’s my part in this?” or “It’s actually on me to do this thing.”
That’s the way I’d like to gently steer the conversation with my young friend. Certainly, decide – choose for yourself – whether to work in wine. If you do, get curious about quelling the anxiety over what more is “out there” by re-orienting the perspective toward “in here.
Does that make sense?
I hope so. If it does, and especially if it doesn’t, please let us know. We’d love to hear your thoughts and talk it through.
Namaste,
Cathy
What We're Reading:
There's no shortage of wine stories and media inundating our IN Boxes. Here's what has piqued our interest this week.
Why Gratitude is Wasted on Thanksgiving – The NewYorkTimes.com
Northeastern University Professor of Psychology, David DeSteno, shares why gratitude may be useful on more than just one day a year.
Women Are Closing the Drinking Gender Gap. And That's A Problem – Liquor.com
From increased excessive drinking to the closing pay gap, women are closing the gap in consumption of liquor and it may not be a good thing for their health.
Meet the Community!
Our community is only as strong as the company we keep, and here we meet some of the folks who make our profession so dynamic.
Branden Hamby, Owner & Winemaker, Hamby Cellars and Assistant Winemaker, Seabold Cellars (USA)
Years In Industry:
2019 is my fifth harvest. Originally planning on attending medical school, I became a Winemaking and Lab intern at Owl Ridge Wine Services, a custom crush in Sebastopol in 2015 where fell in love with winemaking. My wife and I moved back to our hometown in the Central Valley after my internship ended, where I worked as a Chemist until being promoted to an Assistant Winemaker at Bronco Wine Company. After deciding to return to Sonoma County, I became the Lab Manager for Owl Ridge for two harvests until we recently moved to Monterey, and am now Assistant Winemaker at Seabold Cellars. I started my own brand in 2018, Hamby Cellars, while in Sonoma County and have moved it with us to Monterey. I truly love both wine regions and will be growing our brand with grapes from Sonoma, Mendocino, and the Central Coast.
My Biggest Challenge To Wellness:
My biggest challenges is time and stress management. The wine industry, on the production side, is very cyclical. Most of the year is spent planning and worrying about the next bottling, or the wines in barrel. During harvest, chaos erupts in the winery and you have to think on your feet while managing the day to day tasks that need to be done. It is a highly stressful and time-consuming job from August to November, as we all know. Managing everything successfully while making creative winemaking decisions tends to take a toll on your mental health. Your spouse and/or family time also suffers, so it is hard to prioritize everything at once. Being in this industry is definitely a balancing act.
How I Keep It Together To Stay Well:
A couple of things I like to do to manage stress are taking quality time to spend with my wife and working out. On weekdays, I can usually be found at the gym before work. Getting some physical activity in before the days stresses start to kick in really allows me to focus and be in a productive mindset. I also started acupuncture this harvest and have found it incredibly helpful for managing stress. I wasn't particularly interested Eastern medicine before, but acupuncture has really allowed me to let go of the stress of that day/week and reset my mind and body.
Making it a point to spend time with my wife and dog are also crucial to keeping my sanity, as well as not bringing work home. Even something as simple as watching a movie or cooking dinner together really helps me appreciate her and the time we have together. Family should, and always will, remain a top priority for my happiness.
You can connect with Branden on Instagram at @brandenhamby and @hambycellars, or online at www.hambycellars.com
Let’s Meet Up!
As work life has it, we are traveling over the next few months and would love to see you!
Presenters at the Unified Wine & Grape Symposium in Sacramento, February 4 to 6 (Beck and Cathy)
Presenter at the Vancouver International Wine Festival, February 25 to 29 (Cathy)
Attendee at ProWein in Düsseldorf, March 15 to 17 (Cathy)
Attendee at Vinitaly in Verona, April 19 to 22 (Beck)
Presenter at the Future Wine Expo in Santa Rosa, May 12 and 13 (Cathy)
Drop a line to rebecca@abalancedglass.com or cathy@enolytics.com if you are interested in getting together for practice, a chat or a great glass together.
