How to Slow the Heck Down: Four Gentle, Truthful Suggestions

Some of you know that Beck convened the ABG community last week for a gentle meeting online, along a “happy-er hour” theme. People came to our safe space to talk about what’s on our minds (which largely meant our current anxieties and frustrations) and to offer support to each other (which meant looking for ways to help and listening, simply listening, to some of us vent).

It helped. (See below for info about our next gathering!) And I came away lingering over one of the last questions: How can we slow… down…?

My own responses to this question have evolved in the week or so since we met together, and I’ve taken in opinions from a whole range of people. What’s consistent is that I approached the question as a meditator. Right away that prejudices me toward a foundational premise: Slowing down our bodies means slowing down our minds.

It bears repeating. Slow down our minds, and we’ll slow down our bodies.

Fair enough.

Ironically, though, the question worth answering remains the same: HOW do we slow down?

Here are four gentle, truthful suggestions that I hope you’ll find useful.

If You Don’t Slow Yourself Down, Who Will?
This sounds cheeky and simplistic. Please bear with me. But the only person, really the only person, who is going to slow ourselves down is ourself. It’s a decision, an action that we can choose. To be clear: I fully recognize that there are countless variables that factor into that decision for each person, some that are more out of our control than others depending on the situation. I feel compelled nonetheless to double click on the reminder that our response to those variables IS within our own control. If we don’t slow ourselves down – if we don’t decide to slow our own selves down – then who will?

Put the Damn Phone Away
Have you seen this new trick that Heineken released recently? Add their new technology to your phone, and every time it picks up the sound of the word “Cheers!” it will flip your phone over so that it’s face down on the table. I’m not making this up. The message is obviously to put the phone away and pay attention, especially when you’re among friends. Technology that flips our phones face-down as a reminder to tune into the humans around us? It’s come to this. So, put the phone away already. Step off the hamster wheel. Stop scrolling. Repurpose those hours – of time and bandwidth – to give yourself the breathing room to slow down.

Having a Plan Dials Back the Frenetic
To-do lists are a surprisingly divisive topic. Personally, I land on the side of “Yes, absolutely.” Why? They make me deliberate about what needs to be done: If a task lands on the list, then I’ve already gone through the process of discerning that it actually needs to be done, which for sure is not every task I start with. I include the time it’s realistically going to take to do those things. Starting the day with that plan steadies the ship, so to speak. That steadiness usually holds the always-threatening sense of the frenetic at bay.

The Five / Fifty Percent Rule
Some of you know that I’m a fan of Denis Morton, the Peloton instructor who teaches both cycling and yoga. He’s got this thing about backing off on effort by five percent, in order to make the experience of whatever you’re doing fifty percent more enjoyable. I find that that idea can translate in a number of situations throughout the day, from high lunge in yoga class to built-in breaks for a few minutes every hour during the work day to inviting a co-worker to contribute the finishing touches on a proposal.

There are plenty of other ways to slow the heck down. Check out this LinkedIn post, for example, where people from our community offered their own tips.

Here’s my favorite way to bring it all together, both the slowing down and offering social support to one another during these challenging times: Offer to sit and listen – just listen, without interrupting and without making any suggestions – to another person voice their worries and concerns. And then reverse the roles. It’s incredibly helpful, cathartic, bonding, and socially supportive for each person involved.

Let us know how it goes.

Please note: Save the date and time for 4 pm PST / 7 pm EST on Thursday, May 8. That will be our next ABG gathering, and Beck has been inspired by the theme of belonging. Please stay tuned – in this newsletter, on socials, etc – for a registration link, and plan to join us!

Namaste,
Cathy