Shifting Expectations: A Birthday Wish
You’re going to think I’m really weird.
I just celebrated a birthday and, though we did open some Champagne and I did gain a refreshed appreciation for drinking it from coupes (coupes!) rather than flutes, I spent much of the weekend with my nose buried in books.
Weird, right?
I know.
Except what I found in those books wasn’t weird at all. In fact, if there was something worth celebrating, it was what I learned as I read.
With my birthday this year, I had started to get really curious about what to expect, biologically and emotionally, as I get older. I’ve heard what we’ve probably all heard about those expectations, like decreased sex drive, weight gain, slower metabolism, forgetfulness and bone fragility.
But are those things actually true? Biology is biology, but aren’t there other ways to think about the years ahead?
Turns out that there are, and I realized that a shift in perspective around it has to do with two things: research and expectations.
Research about the biology on aging is extensive, but it’s skewed heavily toward male subjects. Which means that it’s interesting but not relevant or applicable to women. Three authors who focus on the women-centered research that has been done include Alisa Vitti, Christiane Northrup M.D. and Gail Sheehy, whose classic Passages book spans life transitions from the 20s to the 40s and beyond, both for women and men. All three authors have dramatically changed my perspective on aging for the better.
The second realization has to do with our societal expectations, and reassessing what we’ve been conditioned to think. We’ve learned, through conditioning, about the “inevitability” of things as we get older like slower metabolism and an increased reliance on pharmaceuticals. But, just like research about biology, there’s a lot to unpack, a lot of biases to untangle and a lot to un-learn.
That takes effort, particularly when it’s so easy – without even acknowledging that it’s happening – to go with the flow of “inevitability” and how things have “always been.”
But that’s exactly where I’d like to hover this week: on expectations and what we’ve been conditioned to think.
What one or two things can you think differently about this week? What are you expecting to happen, largely because you’ve been conditioned to think that it will?
Two things for me were expectations about getting older (a pretty big-picture thing), and being conditioned to use flutes rather than coupes when drinking sparkling wine (which is, admittedly, something with significantly smaller implications!).
How about for you?
Maybe make a list of a few of your expectations, anything from weight gain and the “quarantine fifteen” to who does which chores around the house. Take a little time to tease out why you’re expecting those things and where the conditioning about them has come from.
Then consider this: What if we thought about any of those things with a “What if…” in front of them?
For example, what if weight gain during COVID wasn’t a given? What if I taught my kids to do their own laundry?
No matter what’s come to mind for you, what if there was another way?
Questioning expectations and imagining a different way forward. Give yourself some time this weekend to think it through.
And maybe drink some Champagne from a coupe while you’re at it.
Namaste,
Cathy
What We're Reading:
Here's what has piqued our interest this week in the world of wine and mindfulness.
UK’s Overall Consumption of Alcohol Halved during Lockdown, Data Finds The DrinksBusiness.com
The overall UK consumption of alcohol halved during lockdown, data from Nielsen has suggested, despite staggering sales rises through the supermarkets.
A 10-minute meditation to ground, breathe and soothe, Mindful.org
Allow stressed and fearful emotions to dissipate with this calming, guided practice.
How To Ease Your Quarantine Aches and Pains, Danielle Kosecki for Medium.com
Here’s why your body hurts and what you can do about it
Wine-centric Novels to pair with a Good Vintage for Pandemic Escapism Dave McIntyre for the Washington Post.com
Wine columnist Dave McIntyre offers plenty of literary fodder through wine novels to survive the current pandemic.
Meet the Community!
Our community is only as strong as the company we keep, and here we meet some of the folks who make our profession so dynamic.
Carlota Montoya, Maestro Tequilero and Advisor to Tequila and Mezcal Brands (Mexico City, Mexico)
Years in the Industry:
I've been working at the industry for nine years now as a reporter, student, teacher and advisor. In my current role, I’m an advisor for spirits brands (tequila and Mezcal) and I teach at Domecq Academy.
I started in 2012 as editor in chief of Tequila Apasionado magazine, and I studied spirits first until I became Maestro Tequilero, which is like an enologist for tequila. I’ve been working with more than 15 brands on launching and selling a product and how to sell it.
My Biggest Challenge to Wellness:
My biggest challenge to wellness since COVID is find the balance between my duties and my health (mind and body), and of course to redefine the way to achieve wellness in this new reality. The way I reached wellness before was directly associated to travel and now, I find creative ways to get it.
For example, I’ve been working with the Wine Bar by Concours Mondial de Bruxelles in Mexico City in the development of a “Box experience” to show customers how to taste at home some of the wine and spirits winners of the year. We’re about to launch the project at the end of the month.
How I Keep It Together To Stay Well:
It’s been hard. I’m reading a lot, and studying more. Thanks to the pandemic we have more tools to learn, and I think that learning is indispensable to finding wellness. I also painted a wall to create a zen space, and I’m starting meditations at home.
I'm reading and writing more than used to, and finding myself in new projects through the possibilities social media. But mostly, I think that the best way of being well depends on how grateful you can be about the things you have.
You can connect with Carlota on Instagram at @carlotamontoya.
Let's Get Connected:
Sharing events from our friends in the global ABG community.
Sunday September 13th 4pm PT | 7pm ET
Clear Power Coaching Tips for Moderation
In his book, Quit the Easy Way, Allen Carr says something to the effect “if you could moderate, wouldn’t you have done it already?” Join sobriety/mindful drinking coach Martha Wright online for a free virtual chat via Zoom as she shares her best tips for moderation. Connect with Clear Power Coaching for more information here.
Have an event that our ABG community would love? Email to events@abalancedglass.com for consideration!
Join the Community.
Love reading the weekly news? Share the love!
If someone has passed along this weekly news, you can receive your own copy by signing up on the website here: Join the Community or at the A Balanced Glass Facebook Group.
You can also connect through Instagram @abalancedglass and Twitter @abalancedglass
